I remember thinking that as I grew older (and mature) that surely I could move to a greater and greater position of independence. The teenager dreams of having his own money and his own place. The twenty something dreams of having his own career and family. The thirty something dreams being a significant contributor in the world around him. The man of 40s+ dreams of being financially, socially and otherwise independent. But, I am discovering a new reality as I get older. The older I get the more dependent I am becoming. Not necessarily dependent on the assistance of people (though I am at times) but rather dependent on God. I am regularly running into the end of my resources. Problems are bigger than I can solve. Things that need more wisdom than I possess. And I find my self saying, “Lord unless you bail me out on this one, I am not going to make it.” In other words, more mature I become the more dependent I am becoming. I thought by now that I would be the Father figure but am in incredible need for a Heavenly-Father figure and I am a child. When Jesus said that, “apart from Him we can do nothing”, I didn’t think that would have so broad a reach.
So true, Tim. When I’m really honest, I’m in desperate need of Papa’s loving care–that is, my heavenly Papa. But independence runs really deep, doesn’t it?
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You are most certainly correct my friend. We have been experiencing the same in our household as well.
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