Walking Through Grief After Miscarriage Man to Man
By Tim Howington (research curated by AI)
My wife was not very far along, but we had waited almost 10 years to have a child of our own. The pain of childlessness was bad, but we weren’t quite prepared for miscarriage.
Just getting started. Nowhere near the finish line, but far enough that dreams had already taken shape. A name. A future. The tiny thump of life. Then… silence. And the cradle remained empty.
There is a unique kind of grief that comes with miscarriage. It’s the grief of almost. The grief never got to. The grief of holding love with nobody to give it to.
For us, we could tell within seconds whether our friends who were trying to comfort us had ever experienced this kind of pain. For those who hadn’t they talked about our child like an appendage that could be replaced and the feigned hope of it could happen again, and we need to suck it up and move on (they said it nicer than that of course.) But for those who experienced this pain, it brought back a taste of grief- their grief. And they relive those tragic days.
I’ve seen grown men crumble in a quiet corner because they don’t know how to hold their wife’s sorrow—or their own.
So if you’re reading this and walking through that valley right now, I want to say this first:You are not weak for feeling the weight. You are human. And you are not alone.
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timhowington.com 